tantrum 0 0
You clench your fists and scream loudly!
$n throws a huge temper tantrum! Maybe $e needs a 'Time Out' ?
#

tip 0 0
You tip your hat.
$n tips $s hat in greeting!
You tip your hat at $N.
$n tips $s hat at $N.
$n tips $s hat at you politely.
Sorry, save the gallantry for later..that person's not here.
Why would you do that for ? Silly Rabbit.
#

hlaugh 0 0
You laugh happily.
$n laughs happily.
#

hello 0 0
You wave 'hello' to everyone!
$n waves 'hello' to everyone!
You wave 'Hi' to $N!
$n waves hello to $N!
$n waves 'hello' to you!
That person is not here to greet.
You really don't need to wave to yourself, people already think you're nuts.
#

sympathy 0 0
With whom did you want to share your sympathy ?
#
You hug $N in sympathy.
$n hugs $N in sympathy.
$n hugs you in sympathy.
Sorry, that person's not here.
Maybe you should share your problems with someone else ?
#

knock 0 0
You knock on wood.
$n knocks on wood.
You knock on $N's skull for luck.
$n knocks on $N's head, mistaking it for wood.
$n knocks on your skull and listens for the wooden thunk!
Sure you don't have wood for brains ?
You knock on your head.
$n knocks on $s head.

ungiggle 0 0
You suddenly start to giggle uncontrollably.
$n starts giggling uncontrollably.
#

shackle 0 0
You tug on the shackles that are holding your feet in place.
$n tries to tug on $s shackles in vain.
You shackle $N to the ground!
$n shackles $N to the ground and makes $M stay still!
$n shackles you to the ground!
Shackle who ?
You shackle yourself in place and refuse to leave.
$n shackles $s feet to the ground and refuses to move.

ftickle 0 0
You wave a feather around and look for a good victim.
$n waves a feather around and looks for a good victim.
You grab $N and try to tickle $M to death!
$n grabs $N and tries to tickle $M to death!
$n grabs you and attempts to tickle you to death!
Tickle whom ?
You tickle your nose with a feather.
$n tickles $s nose with a feather.

iblink 0 0
You blink innocently.
$n blinks innocently.
You blink at $N innocently.
$n blinks at $N in innocence.
$n blinks innocently at you!
Who ?
No point trying to fool yourself.
#

boredom 0 0
Boredom DESTROYS you with it's staggering slash!!
Boredom DESTROYS $n with it's staggering slash!!
#

mosh 0 0
You mosh around the room wildly!
$n wildly moshes around the room!
#

aeroplane 0 0
You stretch your arms out to your sides and run around making jet noises!
$n stretches $s arms out to $s sides and runs around making jet noises!
You stretch your arms out and circle $N as you make jet noises!
$n circles $N making jet noises! ($n's landing gear must not be fully down.)
$n circles around you, making jet noises! (I guess $e's bored!)
May day! May day! Pull up! That person is not in sight!
You're going to what ? Circle yourself or something ?
#

rcheck 0 0
You write out a reality check and hold it for the person who needs it most.
$n writes out a reality check for whomever needs it!
You write out a reality check and hand it to $N.
$n writes $N a reality check!
$n writes you a reality check! (Better check in with the real world!)
Hmmm..maybe you need one..that person's not here.
You write yourself a reality check.
$n writes $mself a reality check.

sheepish 0 0
You look around sheepishly.
$n looks around sheepishly.
You give $N a sheepish look! (Whoopsie!)
$n gives $N a sheepish look.
$n gives you a sheepish look.. (Whoops..wonder what $e did ? *grins*)
Sorry, that person's not here.
Aww, you don't need to do that!
#

tkiss 0 0
Whom did you want to kiss ?
#
You rain light, teasing kisses all over $N's body.
#
$n rains light, teasing kisses all over your body.
Sorry, hon..that person's not here!
That's not quite the same thing!
#

valium 0 0
You take a valium and try to calm down.
$n takes a valium and tries to calm down.
You give $N a valium.
$n gives $N a valium.
$n gives you a valium. (Maybe you need to calm down ?:) )
That person's not here.
You pop a valium and try to calm your nerves.
$n pops a valium and tries to calm $s nerves.

pounce 0 8
Who do you want to pounce on?
#
You sneak up behind $N and pounce upon $M.
$n sneaks up behind $N and pounces on $M.
Out of the blue, $n suddenly pounces on you from behind.
Pounce away, but you will just hit the ground.
Come again....pounce on who?
#

handcuff 0 0
You pull out a pair of handcuffs and twirl them around.
$n pulls out a pair of handcuffs and idly tosses them in the air.
You slap a pair of handcuffs on $N and drag $M away!
$n slaps a pair of handcuffs on $N and drags $M away!
Oh No! $n slaps a pair of handcuffs on you and drags you away!
Better put those handcuffs away, that person's not here!
You handcuff yourself to the spot and refuse to leave!
$n handcuffs $mself to the spot and refuses to leave!

flex 0 0
*FLEX* You flex your muscles proudly!
$n flexes $s muscles for you!
#

lovebite 0 0
You have to do it someone!
#
You give $M a small lovebite...be careful with those teeth!
$n bites $N on the neck!
$n sucks gently on your neck and gives you a small lovebite!
Sorry, your victim..err..companion already left!
Sorry, it's just not the same thing!
#

spam 0 0
You cover your eyes and hide as spam fills the room!
$n covers $s eyes and hides from the spam!
#

tie 0 0
You tie your laces quickly, before you trip over your feet.
$n ties $s laces before $e trips over $s feet.
You tie $N up and grin evilly.
$n ties $N up so $E can't escape! (Maybe you should leave ?)
$n grabs a few silk ropes and ties you up! (Is this good or bad ?)
Sorry, better put those ropes away..that person's not here.
You tie yourself up and wait for someone to have their wicked way with you!
$n ties $mself up and waits for you to have your wicked way with $m!

rub 0 0
You rub the sore spot on your body..(That hurt!)
$n rubs the sore spot on $s body, trying to make the pain go away!
#

cover 0 0
You cover your eyes to block out what you see before you!
$n covers $s innocent eyes!
You attempt to cover $N's innocent eyes!
$n attempts to cover $N's innocent eyes!
$n attempts to cover your innocent eyes! (Hah! What a crock!)
That person must have fled and hide from this sight already!
You attempt to cover yourself up!
$n attempts to cover $mself up!

squirm 0 0
You squirm in pleasure!
$n squirms in pleasure!
#

beckon 0 0
Do you really want to beckon *everyone* ?
$n beckons people to follow $m.
You beckon $M to follow you.
$n beckons $N to follow $m.
$n beckons you to follow $m.
That person must have already left.
It's really hard to follow yourself..*thwaps*
#

butter 0 0
Who do you want to butter up?
#
You butter up $N, you must really want something badly.
$n butters up $N, $e must really want something badly.
$n butters up to you. Watch out, $e must want something badly.
Save it for when they are around.
Now why on earth would you do that?
#

bump 0 0
Who did you bump into?
#
You accidentally bump into $N.
$n accidentally bumps into $N.
$n accidentally bumps into you.
Bumping into shadows again are we?
Impossible.
#

cgrin 0 0
You grin like a Chesire cat.
$n grins like a Chesire cat.
You grin at $M like a Chesire cat.
$n grins at $N like a Chesire cat.
$n grins at you like a Chesire cat.
They aren't here.
You grin to yourself like a Chesire cat.
$n grins to $mself like a Chesire cat.

dgrin 0 0
You grin demonically.
$n grins demonically.
#

droses 0 0
Whom do you plan to give a dozen roses to?
#
You give a dozen roses to $M, how sweet.
$n gives a dozen roses to $N, how sweet.
$n gives you a dozen roses, how sweet.
Your roses wilt as you wait for them to enter the room.
If you want a dozen roses, go buy them for yourself.
#

eears 0 0
You wiggle your elven ears.
$n wiggles $s elven ears.
You wiggle your elven ears at $N.
$n wiggles $s elven ears at $N.
$n wiggles $s elven ears at you.
Sorry, they aren't here.
You wiggle your elven ears.
$n wiggles $s elven ears.

eye 0 0
You eye everyone suspiciously.
$n eyes everyone suspiciously.
You eye $N suspiciously.
$n eyes $N suspiciously.
$n eyes you suspiciously.
They must be out doing evil.
Now how do you do that?
#

flop 0 0
Flop onto someone!
#
You knock $N over and flop on top of $M. Ohh..Kinky.
$n knocks $N over and flops on top of $M. Ohhh... Kinky.
$n knocks you over and flops on top of you. Ohh... Kinky.
You'll fall if you do that.
You flop around on the ground like a beached whale.
$n flops around on the ground like a beached whale.

fmouth 0 0
You put your foot in your mouth and leave it there!
$n puts $s foot in $s mouth and leaves it there!
#

footsie 0 0
Who are you going to play footsie with?
#
You play footsie with $N. 
$n plays footsie with $N.
$n plays footsie with you.
You'll have to stretch your feet awfully far to do that.
You try and play footsie with yourself (doesn't quite work does it).
$n tries and plays footsie with $mself (what a funny sight!).

froth 0 0
You froth at the mouth.
$n froths at the mouth.
#

gibber 0 0
You gibber inconsistently.
$n gibbers inconsistently.
#

gigem 0 0
Gig Em Ags!
$n yells, 'Gig Em Ags!'
#

howl 1 0
You howl at the moon! 
$n howls at the moon!
#

lightbulb 0 0
A lightbulb appears over your head, you must have a bright idea!
A lightbulb appears over $n's head, $e must have a bright idea!
#

munch 0 0
You munch on your favorite candy bar.
$n munches on $s favorite candy bar.
#

murmur 1 0
You murmur under your breath about such and such.
$n murmurs under $s breath about such and such.
You murmur under your breath about $N.
$n murmurs under $s breath about $N, wonder what $e is saying.
$n murmurs under $s breath about you. How Rude!
Don't talk (or murmur) about people behind their backs!
You murmur under your breath to yourself.
$n murmurs under $s breath to $mself.

polka 0 0
Polka with someone!
#
German music starts playing as you Polka with $N.
German music starts to play as $n Polkas with $N.
German music starts to play as $n Polkas with you.
Will have to be a wallflower this round, they aren't here.
Polka with someone other than yourself!
#

relax 0 0
You sit back and relax.
$n sits back and relaxes.
You tell $N to chill out and relax.
$n tells $N to chill out and relax.
$n tells you to chill out and relax.
Sorry they aren't here.
You sit back and relax.
$n sits back and relaxes.

silly 0 0
Goofy! Silly! Goober!
$n is being quite silly.
You bonk $N for being soo silly.
$n bonks $N for being soo silly.
$n bonks you for being soo silly.
You must be imaging things.
You are quite silly aren't you?
#

slaugh 0 0
You explode into an evil satanic laughter.
$n explodes into an evil satanic laughter.
#

slobber 0 0
You slobber all over yourself. Wear a bib next time!
$n slobbers all over $mself. Maybe $e needs a bib!
You slobber all over $N.
$n slobbers all over $N.
$n slobbers all over you! (eeeeewww).
They aren't here -- lucky for them I suppose.
You slobber all over yourself. Wear a bib next time!
$n slobbers all over $mself. Maybe $e needs a bib!

swing 0 0
Who do you plan to swing around?
#
You pick up $N and swing $M wildly around and around!
$n picks up $N and swings $M wildly around and around!
$n picks you up and swings you wildly around and around .. wheee!
They aren't here.
Tell me again..who do you plan to swing around?
#

toe 0 0
You pick your toes.
$n picks $s toes, someone should tell $m to do that in private.
#

whoop 0 0
WHOOOOP!
$n yells, 'WHOOOOP!'
#

wince 0 0
You wince in pain.
$n winces in pain.
#

zerbert 0 0
Zerbert someone!
#
You puff up your lips, pull up $N's shirt and give $M a zerbert.
$n puffs up $s lips, pulls up $N's shirt and gives $N a zerbert.
$n puffs up $s lips, pulls up your shirt and gives you a zerbert - that tickles.
They aren't here.
Zerbert someone (hint, not yourself!)
#

cook 0 0
You light a fire and cook breakfast for yourself.
$n lights a fire and cooks $s breakfast. Mmm..Smells good.
You light a fire and cook breakfast for $N.
$n lights a fire and cooks breakfast for $N.
$n lights a fire and cooks breakfast for you. How nice!
They aren't here.
You light a fire and cook breakfast for yourself.
$n lights a fire and cooks breakfast for $mself. 

grill 0 0
You light up the grill and throw on a few juicy steaks.
$n lights up the grill and throws on a few juicy steaks. 
You ask $N how $E likes $S steaks cooked as you light up the grill.
$n asks $N how $E likes $S steaks cooked as $n lights up the grill.
$n asks you how you like your steaks cooked as $e lights up the grill.
You can cook for them, but if they aren't here, they can't eat it.
You light up the grill and throw on a few juicy steaks.
$n lights up the grill and throws on a few juicy steaks.

code 0 0
Try as you might, you can't get the darn code to compile.
Try as $e might, $n can't get the darn code to compile.
You try and explain the code to $N and end up speaking Gibberish.
$n tries to explain the code to $N and ends up speaking Gibberish.
$n tries to explain the code to you, but it sounds like Gibberish.
They've already heard your Gibberish apparently.
Try as you might, you can't get the darn code to compile.
Try as $e might, $n cant' get the darn code to compile.

clone 0 0
Whom do you want to clone?
#
You pull out your DNA-for-beginners kit and proceed to clone $N.
$n pulls out $s DNA-for-beginners kit and proceeds to clone $N.
$n pulls out $s DNA-for-beginners kit and proceeds to clone you!
Can't clone someone who doesn't exist.
You pull out your DNA-for-beginners kit and clone yourself! What have you done!
$n pulls out $s DNA-for-beginners kit and clones $mself! Why did $e do that?!?

hogtie 0 0
Whom are you going to hogtie?
#
You tackle $N, slip a rope around $S back legs and tie $M up. (Just like a hog).
$n tackles $N, slips a rope around $S back legs and ties $M up. (Just like a hog).
$n tackles you, slips a rope around your back legs and ties you up. (Just like a hog)
They aren't here, save your rope for another day!
Hogtie yourself? Are you crazy???
#

nag 0 0
Nag someone!
#
You nag and nag $N for whatever it is you need.
$n nags and nags $N for whatever it is that $e wants.
$n nags and nags you for something $e wants..how annoying!
Nag at someone who is around.
Nag someone (not yourself!)
#

heckle 0 0
Heckle at someone!
#
You hiss and boo $N off the stage.
$n hisses and boos $N off the stage.
$n hisses and boos you right off the stage.
They've already left in shame.
You realize how bad that was, so you hiss and boo yourself off the stage.
$n realizes how bad that was so $e hisses and boos $mself right off the stage.

hoot 0 0
You hoot like an owl.
$n hoots like an owl.
#

dazzle 0 0
You dazzle everyone with your charm.
$n tries hard to dazzle you with $s charm...and fails miserably.
#

corner 0 0
Corner someone!
#
You corner $N and proceed to tell $M your life story.
$n corners $N and proceeds to tell $N $s life story. Poor $N, so unlucky.
$n corners you and proceeds to tell you $s life story. Quick look for a way to flee!
They left already.
Corner someone!
#

book 0 0
You pull out your favorite paperback and begin to read.
$n pulls out $s favorite paperback and begins to read. (Must be a good book).
You pull out a bedtime story and read it to $N.
$n pulls out a bedtime story and reads it to $N.
$n pulls out a bedtime story and reads it to you.
They are not here, sorry.
You pull out your favorite paperback and read it to yourself.
$n pulls out $s favorite paperback and reads it to $mself.

hypnotize 0 0
Hypnotize someone.
#
You hypnotize $N, $E looks very sleepy.
$n hypnotizes $N, $E looks very sleepy.
$n hypnotizes you, you feel very sleepy. 
Hypnotize someone you can see.
You pull out your pocketwatch and swing it infront of your face trying to hypnotize yourself.
$n pulls out $s pocketwatch and swings it infront of $s face trying to hypnotize $mself.

tuck 0 0
Tuck someone into bed!
#
You tuck $N into bed and wish $M a good night.
$n tucks $N into bed and wishes $M a good night.
$n tucks you into bed and wishes you a good night.
They must already have gone to sleep.
You tuck yourself into bed for a good nights rest.
$n tucks $mself into bed for a good nights rest.

juggle 0 0
You pick up some green balls from the ground and begin to juggle them.
$n picks up some green balls from the ground and begins to juggle them.
#

mime 0 0
You mime "trapped in a box" to your audience.
$n mimes "trapped in a box" to you.
#

paint 0 0
You paint a pretty picture.
$n paints a pretty picture.
You paint a picture of $N.
$n paints a picture of $N.
Hold still, $n is painting a picture of you.
Paint something you can see.
You paint your portrait.
$n paints $s own portrait

serenade 0 0
Serenade someone.
#
You stand outside $N's window and serenade $M in song.
$n stands outside $N's window and serenades $M in song. 
$n stands outside your window and serenades you in song.
Try serenading someone else.
Serenade someone.
#

movie 0 0
You pull out your camcorder and make home videos.
Quick hide! $n has the camcorder out!
#

pnose 0 5
You lose your finger in the depth of your nose.
$n loses $s finger in the depths of $s nose.
#

ddance 0 8
You grab a lampshade, put it over your head and dance around the room.
$n grabs a lampshade, puts it on $s head and dances around the room.
You grab a lampshade, put it on your head, and dance around the room with $N.
$n grabs a lampshade, puts it on $s head and dances wildly around the room with $N.
$n puts a lampshade over $s head and forces you to dance with him.
You take the lampshade off and pout.
You grab a lampshade, put it over your head and dance around the room.
$n grabs a lampshade, puts it on $s head and dances around the room.

boo 0 8
Who are you going to scare?
#
You sneak up behind $N and yell "BOO!"
$n sneaks up behind $N and scares the daylights outta $M.
$n sneaks up behind you and yells, "BOO!" 
You must have already scared them away.
"BOO!" ooh..you even scare yourself.
#

hum 0 5
You hum a pretty melody to yourself.
$n annoys you as $e hums some strange tune.
#

toast 0 8
Toast whom?
#
You raise your glass in toast to $M.
$n proposes a toast to $N.
$n raises $s glass and proposes a toast in your honor.
They must be off doing more great things.
Not at all modest are we?
#

propose 0 8
Now really, you must propose to someone.
#
You get down on one knee and ask for $N's hand in marriage.
$n gets down on one knee and asks $N to marry $m.
$n gets down on one knee and asks you to marry $m.
I'm sorry hon, they are not here.
Now thats kinda a strange idea.
#

shoot 0 8
Who ya gonna shoot anyways?
#
You aim your gun at $N and shoot them, BANG!
$n picks up $s gun and shoots it at $N, missing by miles.
$n takes out $s toy gun and tries in vain to shoot you.
Shoot someone a bit closer.
Not funny!
$n shoots $mself in the foot.

limbo 0 8
How low can you go?
$n tries to limbo, but falls flat on $s back.
#

pinch 0 5
Who do you want to pinch?
#
You pinch $M on the rear! (How rude!) 
$n rudely pinches $N!
$n just goosed you! (How rude!)
Try pinching someone within reach.
You pinch yourself, you must be dreaming.
$n wonders if this is for real.

meditate 0 5
You relax in meditation.
Don't bother $n, $e is meditating.
#

ack 0 5
You ack!
$n goes 'ack!'.
#

accuse 0 5
Accuse who??
#
You look accusingly at $N.
$n looks accusingly at $N.
$n looks accusingly at you.
Accuse somebody who's not even there??
You accuse yourself.
$n seems to have a bad conscience.

admire 0 5
You lies down motionless an watches in admiration.
$n lies down motionless and watches in admiration.
You look at $N and admire the view.
$n looks at $N and admires the view.
$n looks at you and admires the view.
No one there.. :(
You admire yourself.
$n admires $mself.

apologize 0 0
You apologize sincerely.
$n sincerely apologizes.
You apologize to $M.
$n apologizes to $N.
$n gives you $s heartfelt apologies.
Looks like you'll have to save that apology for later.
Hmmm, I think you know you're sorry.
#

applaud 0 0
Clap, clap, clap.
$n gives a round of applause.
#

argh 0 0
ARGH!
$n screams, 'Arghhhhhhh!!!'
#

ballad 0 8
You go down onto one knee and sing a beautiful ballad.
$n goes down onto one knee and sings a beautiful ballad.
You go down onto one knee and sing a beautiful ballad in $N's honor.
$n goes down onto one knee and sings a beautiful ballad in $N's honor.
$n goes down onto one knee and signs a beautiful ballad in your honor.
You sing a ballad for the person you have missed.
You sing a ballad for yourself.
$n sings a ballad for $mself.  What an ego!

bandb 0 0
Cool... Heh heh.. Heh heh....
$n does $s best Beavis and Butthead imitation.
#

bark 0 6
Woof, Woof, WOOF!
$n barks wildly.
#

bearhug 0 8
You flail at the air trying to press it close to your chest.
#
You pick $N up and wrap $M in a tight unbreakable bear hug.
$n wraps $N in a tight unbreakable bear hug as $E flails $S arms around.
You are wrapped in a bear hug from behind, you twist and see that $n is your captor.
That person isn't here.
You wrap your arms around yourself tight so that you can't breathe.
$n wraps $s arms around $mself so tightly that $e can't breathe.

beat 0 0 
Whom did you want to beat ?
#
You beat the stuffing out of $M!
$n beats $N until $E cries for mercy!
$n beats you over the head until you cry for mercy!
Beat who ? Sure you haven't been hit in the head recently ?
Why would you want to do that ??
#

beg 0 5
You beg the gods for mercy.  (No way you're gonna get it! :-))
The gods fall down laughing at $n's request for mercy.
You desperately beg $N to grant this one favor!
$n begs $N for one *itty bitty* favor!
$n begs you to grant $m this one request!
Your money-lender seems to be out for the moment.
How? - begging yourself for money doesn't help.
#

bhead 0 5
You bury your head in the ground.
$n buries $s head in the ground.
You bury your head in $N's lap.
$n buries $s head in $N's lap.
$n buries $s head in your lap.
You can't bury your head in their lap.
You bury your head under your body.
$n buries $s head under $s body.

bingle 0 8
You bingle excitedly like a crazed cab driver on cocaine!
$n bingles excitedly like a crazed cab driver on cocaine!
#

bleed 0 0
You bleed profusely, making an awful mess...
$n bleeds profusely, making an awful mess...
#

bitch 0 0
You bitch and moan about the unfairness of it all!
$n bitches and moans about life in general..
#

blick 0 8
Whom do you plan to lick all over?
#
You slide your tongue up and down, all around $S sexy body.
#
$n licks you up and down, all around .. oooh it feels good!
Whom do you plan to lick all over?
Don't be disgusting.
#

blush 0 0
Your cheeks are burning.
$n blushes.
#

bpat 0 0
Don't you want to pat *someone* ?
#
You pat $M on the back.
$n pats $N on the back.
$n pats you on the back.
Pat who ?
You pat yourself on the back.
$n gives $mself a pat on the back.

boot 0 0
Boot who ?
#
You give $M a swift boot to the rear!
$n gives $N a swift boot in the pants!
$n gives you a swift boot in the rear! (How rude!)
Umm...who ??
Now how are you going to accomplish that ??:)
$n tries to give $mself a boot in the rear! (Hmm..maybe $e needs a kickstart.)
 
bounce 0 0
BOIINNNNNNGG!
$n bounces around.
#

bow 0 5
You bow deeply.
$n bows deeply.
You bow before $M.
$n bows before $N.
$n bows before you.
Who's that?
You kiss your toes.
$n folds up like a jacknife and kisses $s own toes.

brb 0 0
Come back soon!
$n will be right back!
#

bslam 0 8
You can't do that now.
#
You bodyslam $N brutally into the wall.
$n bodyslams $N brutally into the wall.
$n bodyslams you brutally into the wall.
You start bodyslamming ghosts.
You bodyslam yourself and go flying head over heels.
$n flies into the wall while trying to bodyslam $mself.

burp 0 0
You burp loudly.
$n burps loudly.
#

cackle 0 0
You cackle gleefully.
$n throws back $s head and cackles with insane glee!
#

cheer 0 5
You cheer enthusiastically.
$n cheers enthusiastically.
You cheer $N enthusiastically.
$n cheers $N enthusiastically.
$n cheers you enthusiastically.
That person isn't here.
You cheer yourself enthusiastically.
$n cheers $mself enthusiastically.

chortle 0 0
You chortle in delight!
$n chortles gleefully!
#

chuckle 0 0
You chuckle politely.
$n chuckles politely.
#

clap 0 0
You clap your small hands together.
$n shows $s approval by clapping $s small hands together.
#

comb 0 0
You comb your hair -- perfect.
$n combs $s hair, what a dashing specimen!
You patiently untangle $N's hair -- what a mess!
$n tries patiently to untangle $N's hair.
$n pulls your hair in an attempt to comb it.
That person is not here.
You pull your hair, but it will not be combed.
$n tries to comb $s tangled hair.

comfort 0 5
Do you feel uncomfortable?
#
You comfort $M.
$n comforts $N.
$n comforts you.
Comfort who?
You make a vain attempt to comfort yourself.
#

cough 0 0
Yuck, try to cover your mouth next time!
$n coughs loudly.
#

cringe 1 0
You cringe in terror.
$n cringes in terror!
You cringe away from $M.
$n cringes away from $N in mortal terror.
$n cringes away from you.
I don't see anyone by that name here.. what are you afraid of?
I beg your pardon?
#

cross 0 0
You cross your fingers and hope for luck!
$n crosses $s fingers and hopes for luck!
# 

cry 0 5
Waaaaah..
$n bursts into tears.
You cry on $N's shoulder.
$n cries on $N's shoulder.
$n cries on your shoulder.
Who's that?
You cry to yourself.
$n sobs quietly to $mself.

cuddle 1 5
Who do you feel like cuddling today?
#
You cuddle up to $M.
$n cuddles $N.
$n cuddles you.
They aren't here.
You must feel very cuddly indeed..   :)
#

curse 0 0
You swear loudly for a long time.
$n swears: #@*"*&^$$%@*&!!!!!!
#

curtsey 0 0
You curtsey to your audience.
$n curtsies gracefully.
#

dance 1 8
Feels silly, doesn't it?
$n tries to dance breakdance but nearly breaks $s neck!
You lead $M to the dancefloor.
$n sends $N across the dancefloor.
$n sends you across the dancefloor.
Eh, WHO?
You skip and dance around by yourself.
$n skips a light Fandango.

daydream 1 0
You dream of better times.
$n looks absent-minded, $s eyes staring into space.
#

dkiss 0 5
Kiss who?
#
You give $N a deep kiss, leaving $M gasping for air.
$n gives $N a deep kiss, leaving $M gasping for air.
$n gives you a deep kiss, leaving you gasping for air.
You can't find that person anywhere.
You gives yourself a deep kiss and gasp for air.
$n kisses $mself deeply and gasps for air.

doh 0 5
DOH!
$n goes 'Doh!'.
#

drool 1 0
You start to drool.
$n starts to drool.
You drool all over $N.
$n drools all over $N.
$n drools all over you.
Pardon??
Sure, go ahead and drool...yuk!
$n drools on $mself.  What a sight.

dtape 0 0
Whose mouth do you want to duct tape?
#
You firmly place a piece of duct tape over $N's mouth.  That ought to shut them up.
$n duct tapes $N's mouth shut, and there was much rejoicing.
$n places a piece of duct tape over your mouth.  Maybe you should take the hint.
They don't seem to be here.
You duct tape your own mouth closed.
$n duct tapes $s own mouth shut.

ebreathe 0 5 
How do you do that to the air?
#
You press close to $N, breathing in $M ear.  $E squirms with pleasure.
$n presses close to $N, breathing in $M ear.  $E squirms with pleasure.
$n presses close to you, breathing in your ear.  You squirm with pleasure.
You don't see that person anywhere.
You exercise your neck muscles to know avail.
$n looks funny here craning $s neck like $e has some deadly disease.

eek 0 0
EEK!
$n goes, 'EEK!'
#

embrace 0 0 
You reach but come away empty.  :(
$n reaches out for an embrace, but no one is there.
You embrace $M warmly.
$n embraces $N warmly.  
$n embraces you warmly.  
Alas, your embracee is not here.  
You embrace yourself??  
$n wraps $s arms around $mself for a warm self-embrace.

explode 0 0
You feel so happy, you explode into a thousand pieces.
$n feels so happy, $e explodes into a thousand pieces.  Messy!
#

eww 0 0
Ewww! Gross!!
$n goes, 'EEK!'
#

eyewig 0 0
You wiggle your eyebrows suggestively!
$n wiggles $s eyebrows suggestively!
#

faint 0 0
Darkness overwhelms you and you fall to the ground with a loud thunk.
$n sways slightly and falls to the ground in a dead faint!
#

fang 0 0
You show your fangs and claim your territory.
You back away, as $n shows $s fangs.
#

fart 0 0
Where are your manners?
$n lets off a real rip-roarer!
#

fhair 0 5
You run your fingers through your hair.  How dashing!
$n runs $s fingers through $s hair.  Now $e looks dashing.
You run your fingers through $N's hair and smile.
$n runs $s fingers through $N's hair and smiles.
$n runs $s fingers through your hair and smiles.
Most ghosts don't have hair.
You run your fingers through your hair.  How dashing!
$n runs $s fingers through $s hair.  Now $e looks dashing.

five 0 0
Who??
#
You give $M a high-five.
$n gives $N a high-five.
$n gives you a high-five.
Give somebody a high-five who's not even there??
You try to high-five yourself.
$n tries to high-five $mself.

fkiss 0 5
Fkiss someone!
#
You raise $N's head with one finger and gently press your lips to $S lips.
$n raises $N's head with one finger and gently presses $s lips to $S lips.
$n raises your head with one finger and gently presses $s lips to yours.
That person isn't here.
You can't do this to yourself... it's physically impossible (and disgusting!)
#

flip 0 0
You flip head over heels.
$n flips head over heels.
#

flirt 1 5
You flirt outrageously.
$n flirts outragously.
You flirt outrageously with $N.
$n flirts outrageously with $N.
$n flirts outrageously with you.
Sorry, your dearly beloved is not around.
You flirt with yourself.  Must look stupid.
$n thinks he is the most wonderful person in the world.

fondle 0 5
Who needs to be fondled?
#
You fondly fondle $M.
$n fondly fondles $N.
$n fondly fondles you.
You fondly try to fondle someone not in the room, but who cares.
You fondly fondle yourself, feels funny doesn't it?
$n fondly fondles $mself -- this is going too far!!

french 0 0
French whom??
#
You give $N a long and passionate kiss, it seems to take forever...
$n kisses $N passionately.
$n gives you a long and passionate kiss, it seems to take forever...
Your heart is filled with despair as that person is not here.
You gather yourself in your arms and try to kiss yourself.
$n makes an attempt at kissing $mself.

frown 0 0
What's bothering you?
$n frowns.
#

fume 1 5
Take it easy now!  Count to ten, very slowly.
$n grits $s teeth and fumes with rage.
You stare at $M, fuming.
$n stares at $N, fuming with rage.
$n stares at you, fuming with rage!
Fume away.. they ain't here.
That's right - hate yourself!
$n clenches $s fists and stomps $s feet, fuming with anger.

gasp 0 0
You gasp in astonishment.
$n gasps in astonishment.
#

gaze 0 5
You gaze off into the distance with a dreamy look on your face.
$n gazes off into the distance with a dreamy look on $s face.
You gaze lovingly at $N, staring deep into $S eyes.
$n gazes lovingly at $N, staring deep into $S eyes.
$n gazes lovingly at you, staring deep into your eyes.
You gaze at a faint ghostly impression.
You want to gaze at yourself????
#

giggle 0 0
You giggle.
$n giggles.
#

glance 0 0
You glance around nervously.
$n glances around the room with a nervous expression on $s face.
You glance quickly at $M.
$n takes at glance at $N.
$n glances surreptitiously at you.
You glance around, but $e isn't here.
You glance at yourself.  Yup, everything seems to be in place.
$n takes a quick glance at $mself to see if all is where it should be.

glare 0 5
You glare at nothing in particular.
$n glares around $m.
You glare icily at $M.
$n glares at $N.
$n glares icily at you, you feel cold to your bones.
You try to glare at somebody who is not present.
You glare icily at your feet, they are suddenly very cold.
$n glares at $s feet, what is bothering $m?

greet 0 0
Greet Who?
#
You greet $N with a light kiss on $S cheek.
$n greets $N with a light kiss on $S cheek.
$n greets you with a light kiss on your cheek.
Please -- try someone who is here?
So, you've finally discovered yourself!
$n greets $mself.. $e always was a strange one.

grin 0 0
You grin evilly.
$n grins evilly.
#

groan 0 0
You groan loudly.
$n groans loudly.
#

grope 0 5
Whom do you wish to grope??
#
Well, what sort of noise do you expect here?
$n gropes $N.
$n gropes you.
Try someone who's here.
You grope yourself -- YUCK.
$n gropes $mself -- YUCK.

grovel 1 0
You grovel in the dirt.
$n grovels in the dirt.
You grovel before $M
$n grovels in the dirt before $N.
$n grovels in the dirt before you.
Who?
That seems a little silly to me..
#

growl 0 0
Grrrrrrrrrr...
$n growls.
#

grumble 0 0
Hmph, err, stupid, grr, little....
$n grumbles loudly as $e mutters under $s breath.
#

gtongue 0 5
You grab your tongue and pull.
$n grabs $s tongue and pulls.
You grab $N's tongue and pull.
$n grabs $N's tongue and pulls.
$n grabs your tongue and pulls.
You try to grab their tongue but miss.
You grab your tongue and pull.
$n grabs $s tongue and pulls.

gulp 0 0
You gulp nervously.
$n pulls at $s collar and gulps nervously.  *GULP*
#

hiccup 0 0
*HIC*
$n hiccups.
#

hop 0 0
Hop, Hop, Hop.
$n hops around like a bunny.
You hop in $N's lap.
$n hops in $N's lap... how sweet.
$n hops in your lap.
Just who do you want to hop?
You wanna do what??
#

hug 1 5
You give everyone a hug.
$n gives everyone a quick hug.
You hug $M.
$n hugs $N.
$n hugs you.
Sorry, friend, I can't see that person here.
You hug yourself.
$n hugs $mself.

hunger 0 0
Food..  I haven't eaten in days....
$n is here begging for food.
#

hysteria 0 0
You fall to the ground laughing hysterically.  Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
$n collapses to the ground laughing hysterically.  What did you do to $m?!?!
#

ismile 0 0
You cross your fingers and attempt to smile innocently.
$n smiles innocently.
#

iwhistle 0 0
You glance around, whistling innocently. (You ?? Innocent ?? Not likely.)
$n whistles innocently.
#

jaw 0 5
You lick your jaw.
#
You trace the tip of your tongue along $N's jaw.
$n traces the tip of $s tongue along $N's jaw.
$n traces the tip of $s tongue along your jaw.
You can't seem to find them.
You attempt to lick your jaw.
$n tries to lick $s jaw.

jeans 0 5
You can't do that now!
#
You sneak your hands into $N's back pockets, pull $M closer and give $M a deep, lingering kiss.
$n sneaks $s hands into $N's back pockets, pulls $M closer and gives $M a deep, lingering kiss.
$n sneaks $s hands into your back pockets, pulls you closer and gives you a deep, lingering kiss.
Uh, that'll be hard to do by yourself.
You twist in an awkward manner and end up not accomplishing much.
$n seems to have some trouble doing something with $s back pockets.

kidnap 0 0
You glance around madly, looking for someone to kidnap.
$n looks at you a little oddly, making you want to take a few steps back.
You bind and gag $M, before throwing $M over your shoulder and running off.
$n binds and gags $N before throwing $M over $s shoulder and running off.
$n binds and gags you, before throwing you over $s shoulder and running off!
Kidnap who ?
I suppose you're going to ask for ransom as well ?
#

kiss 0 0 
Isn't there someone you want to kiss?
#
You kiss $M.
$n kisses $N.
$n kisses you.
Never around when required.
All the lonely people :(
#

kisshand 0 0
Whose hand do you wish to kiss?
#
You gently take $N's hand and kiss it. 
$n kisses $N's hand.
$n takes your hand and kisses it.  (How dashing)
They don't seem to be here.  *sniff*
You kiss your own hand, and greet yourself.
$n kisses their own hand.  You wonder if $e kisses $s mirror every morning.

lag 0 0
Lag DESTROYS you with its staggering slash.
Lag DESTROYS $n with its staggering slash.
#

laugh 0 0
You fall down laughing.
$n falls down laughing.
You laugh at $N in amusement.
$n laughs at $N in amusement...
$n begins to laugh at you... you turn DEEP RED.
Oh, laughing at people behind their backs, eh?
You laugh at yourself... what a funny joke!
$n begins to laugh at $mself.  Did $e tell a joke or something?

lhold 0 0
Lhold someone!
#
You hold $N lovingly in your arms.
$n holds $N lovingly in $s arms.
$n holds you lovingly in $s arms.
Lhold who? Dunno that person.
You hold yourself as you tend to your wounds.
$n holds $mself as $e tends to $s wounds.

lick 0 0
You lick your mouth and smile.
$n licks $s mouth and smiles.
You lick $M.
$n licks $N.
$n licks you.
Lick away, nobody's here with that name.
You lick yourself.
$n licks $mself -- YUCK.

lip 0 0
You nibble on your lower lip, as you evaluate your options.
$n nibbles on $s lower lip, looking contemplative.
You nibble on $N's lower lip.
$n gently nibbles on $N's lower lip.
$n nibbles on your lower lip.
Who ?
It's not quite the same thing.
#

lnose 0 5
You lick your nose.
$n licks $s nose.
You lick $N playfully on the nose.
$n licks $N playfully on the nose.
$n licks you playfully on the nose.
Your tongue flaps wildly not licking anything.
You lick your nose.
$n licks $s nose.

love 0 0
You love the whole world.
$n loves everybody in the world.
You tell your true feelings to $N.
$n whispers softly to $N.
$n whispers to you sweet words of love.
Alas, your love is not present...
Well, we already know you love yourself (lucky someone does!)
$n loves $mself, can you believe it?

lust 0 5
You lust for everyone... but is that really news?
#
You lust for $N.
$n lusts for $N.
$n lusts for you.
You lust for your true love.
Hmm, shouldn't this be a private thing?
#

massage 0 0
Massage what, thin air?
#
You gently massage $N's shoulders.
$n massages $N's shoulders.
$n gently massages your shoulders...ahhhhhhhhhh...
You can only massage someone in the same room as you.
You practise yoga as you try to massage yourself.
$n gives a show on yoga-positions, trying to massage $mself.

melt 0 0
You melt into a puddle of bliss.
$n melts into a puddle of bliss.
You melt into a puddle of bliss at $S feet.
$n melts into a puddle of bliss at $N's feet.
$n melts into a puddle of bliss at your feet.  
Are you sure you know who's making you melt ??
We don't want to know what you're doing.
#

mgrin 0 0
You give everyone a mischievous grin.
$n gives everyone a mischievous grin.
#

moan 0 0
You start to moan.
$n starts moaning.
#

nibble 0 0
Nibble on who?
#
You nibble on $N's ear.
$n nibbles on $N's ear.
$n nibbles on your ear.
Sorry, not here, better go back to dreaming about it.
You nibble on your OWN ear???????????????????
$n nibbles on $s OWN ear (I wonder how it is done!!).

nod 1 0
You nod solemnly.
$n nods solemnly.
#

noogie 0 0
Who do you want to noogie?
#
You grab $N by the head and grind your knuckles into $S skull.
$n gives $N a noogie.  My, they are playful.
$n grabs you by your head and gives you a big noogie.
They don't seem to be here, sport.
You noogie yourself.  Then you check for lost hair.
$n noogies $mself.  You think $e might have fleas.

nudge 0 0
Nudge?  Nudge???  The HELL you say!!!!
#
You nudge $M with your elbow.
$n nudges $N suggestively with $s elbow.
$n nudges you suggestively.  You two have an understanding.
Eh?  That person isn't here, you know.
Well, just nudge yourself, but how do you get your elbow in that position?
$n nudges $mself with $s elbows, making $m look like a large chicken.

nuzzle 1 5
Nuzzle who??
#
You nuzzle $S neck softly.
$n softly nuzzles $N's neck.
$n softly nuzzles your neck.
No.. they aren't here..
I'm sorry, friend, but that's impossible.
#
ogasp 0 0
You gasp in outrage!
$n gasps in outrage!
You gasp at $N in outrage!
$n gasps at $N in outrage!
$n gasps at you in outrage!
Better save that outrage, that person's not here.
O-kay...*pats you on your head*
#

ogle 0 0
Who do you wish to ogle over?
#
You look flirtatiously at $N.
$n stares into $N's eyes wantingly.
$n ogles and drools over you.
They don't seem to be here.
You ogle over yourself.
$n ogles over $mself.  What a ham.

ohno 0 0
OH NO....  You did it again.
$n sighs an 'oh no'.  They must have screwwed up something.
#

pace 0 0
You pace around the room nervously.
$n paces around the room; $e must be nervous!
#

panic 0 0
You panic and attempt to flee!
$n panics and attempts to flee! (Chicken!)
#

pant 0 5
You stick your tongue out and pant heavily.
$n sticks $s tongue out and pants heavily.
#

pat 0 0
Pat who??
#
You pat $N on $S head.
$n pats $N on $S head.
$n pats you on your head.
Who, where, what??
You pat yourself on your head, very reassuring.
$n pats $mself on the head.

peer 1 0
You peer around you, uncertain that what you see is actually true.
$n peers around, looking as if $e has trouble seeing everything clearly.
#

pierce 0 7
You swing your weapon around carelessly.
$n swings $s weapon around carelessly.
You DESTROY $N with your staggering pierce.
$n DESTROYS $N with $s staggering pierce
$n DESTROYS you with $s staggering pierce.
That person is not here.
You DESTROY yourself with your staggering pierce.
$n DESTROYS $mself with $s staggering pierce.

pkiss 0 5
Pkiss someone!
#
You push $N onto $S back and kiss $M violently.
$n pushes $N onto $S back and kisses $M violently.
$n pushes you onto your back and kisses you violently.
Try another.
Uhh, I think not.
$n tries to do something disgusting.

plhair 0 5
Oh, you're gonna just randomly pull hair?
#
You play with $N's hair absently.
$n plays with $N's hair absently.
$n plays with your hair absently.
You can't play with their hair.
You play with your hair absently.
$n plays with $s hair absently.

point 1 0
You point whereto?
$n points in all directions, seemingly confused.
You point at $M -- $E DOES look funny.
$n muffles a laugh, pointing at $N.
$n points at you... how rude!
You must have a VERY long index-finger...
You point at yourself.  Insinuating something?
$n points at $mself, suggesting that the center of matters is $e.

poke 0 0
Poke who??
#
You poke $M in the ribs.
$n pokes $N in the ribs.
$n pokes you in the ribs.
You can't poke someone who's not here!
You poke yourself in the ribs, feeling very silly.
$n pokes $mself in the ribs, looking very sheepish.

ponder 1 0
You ponder over matters as they appear to you at this moment.
$n sinks deeply into $s own thoughts.
#

pound 0 7
You swing your weapon around carelessly.
$n swings $s weapon around carelessly.
You DESTROY $N with your staggering pound.
$n DESTROYS $N with $s staggering pound.
$n DESTROYS you with $s staggering pound.
That person is not here.
You DESTROY yourself with your staggering pound.
$n DESTROYS $mself with $s staggering pound.

pout 0 0
Ah, don't take it so hard.
$n pouts.
#

pray 0 0
You feel righteous, and maybe a little foolish.
$n begs and grovels to the powers that be.
You crawl in the dust before $M.
$n falls down and grovels in the dirt before $N.
$n kisses the dirt at your feet.
No such person around; your prayers vanish into the endless voids.
Talk about narcissism...
$n performs some strange yoga-exercises and mumbles a prayer to $mself.

puke 0 0
You puke.
$n pukes.
You puke on $M.
$n pukes on $N.
$n pukes on your clothes!
Once again?
You puke on yourself.
$n pukes on $s clothes.

pullhair 0 5
You run around yanking everyone's hair.
$n runs around yanking everyone's hair.
You yank $N's hair hard.  That musta hurt!
$n yanks $N's hair hard.  Ouch!
$n yanks your hair hard.  Oww, that really hurt..
They ain't here.
You pull on your hair, what a dumb thing to do!
$n pulls on $s own hair, how stupid.

punch 0 0
Punch the air?  Sure, go ahead, fine by me...
$n starts shadow-boxing.
You punch $M right in the face!  Yuck, the BLOOD!
$n punches weakly at $N, missing by miles.
$n tries a punch at you but misses by a good quarter-mile...
Punch who?
You punch yourself in the face resulting in your own nose being bloodied.
$n punches $mself in the face, looking kind of stupid.

purr 0 0
MMMMEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW.
$n purrs contentedly.
#

qkiss 0 5
Who are you going to kiss?
#
You slip your arms around $N's waist and pull $M close, giving $M a quick kiss.
$n slips $s arms around $N's waist and pulls $M close, giving $M a quick kiss.
$n slips $s arms around your waist and pulls you close, giving you a quick kiss.
You have no one to kiss.
That's kind of hard to do by yourself.
#
 
raise 0 0
Hmmm.. Curiouser and curiouser.
$n raises $s eyebrow curiously.
#

rogue 0 0
You give everyone a roguish grin.
$n grins roguishly.
#

roll 1 0 
You roll your eyes.
$n rolls $s eyes.
You look at $M and roll your eyes.
$n looks at $N and rolls $s eyes.
$n stares at you and rolls $s eyes.
Um... who?
You roll your eyes, disgusted with your own incompetence.
$n rolls $s eyes, disgusted with $mself.

rollover 0 5
You roll over in hopes of getting a treat.
$n rolls over, just like your dog at home.
#

ruffle 0 0
You've got to ruffle SOMEONE.
#
You ruffle $N's hair playfully.
$n ruffles $N's hair playfully.
$n ruffles your hair playfully.
Might be a bit difficult.
You ruffle your hair, wondering how far you can go before the rest think you're crazy.
$n ruffles $s hair -- weirdo!

scratch 0 0
You scratch your head puzzledly.
$n scratches $s head puzzledly.
#

scream 0 0
ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
$n screams loudly!
#

shake 0 5
You shake your head.
$n shakes $s head.
You shake $S hand.
$n shakes $N's hand.
$n shakes your hand.
Sorry good buddy, but that person doesn't seem to be here.
You are shaken by yourself.
$n shakes and quivers like a bowlful of jelly.

shiver 0 0
Brrrrrrrrr.
$n shivers uncomfortably.
#

shower 0 5
You shower everyone with kisses.
$n showers everyone with kisses.
You shower $N with kisses.
$n showers $N with kisses.
$n showers you with kisses.
You shower them with kisses even though they are gone.
You shower yourself with kisses.
$n showers $mself with kisses.

shrug 0 0
You shrug.
$n shrugs helplessly.
#

sigh 0 0
You sigh.
$n sighs loudly.
#

sing 0 0
You raise your clear (?) voice towards the sky.
SEEK SHELTER AT ONCE!  $n has begun to sing.
#

skick 0 0
Whom did you want to kick ?
#
You kick $M in the shins!
$n kicks $N in the shin!
$n kicks you in the shin!! (Ouch!)
Try kicking someone who's here.
You kick yourself in the shins.
$n kicks $mself in the shins.

skiss 0 5
Don't you usually do it to somebody?
#
You pull $N closer and give $M a soft kiss.
$n pulls $N closer and gives $M a soft kiss.
$n pulls you closer and gives you a soft kiss.
Too bad.. That person is gone.
You kiss yourself softly.
$n kisses $mself softly.

slam 0 8
You slam a beer can against your forehead.
$n slams a beer can against $s forehead.
You high-five $N with a thunderous slam.
$n high-fives $N with a thunderous slam.
$n high-fives you with a thunderous slam.
You miss that person with your high-five.
You high-five yourself with a thunderous slam.
$n high-fives $mself with a thunderous slam.

slap 0 0
Normally you slap SOMEBODY.
#
You slap $N.
$n slaps $N.
You are slapped by $n.
How about slapping someone in the same room as you??
You slap yourself, silly you.
$n slaps $mself, really strange...

slash 0 7
You swing your weapon around carelessly.
$n swings $s weapon around carelessly.
You DESTROY $N with your staggering slash.
$n DESTROYS $N with $s staggering slash.
$n DESTROYS you with $s staggering slash.
That person is not here.
You DESTROY yourself with your staggering slash.
$n DESTROYS $mself with $s staggering slash.

slook 0 0
You glance around suspiciously.
$n looks around suspiciously.
You look at $N suspiciously..(Hmmmm..)
$n looks at $N suspiciously. (What did $E do ?)
$n looks at you suspiciously. (Okay, what did you do now ??)
Aren't you a little paranoid ? That person's not even here. 
You glance at yourself suspiciously..(When did you grow that 3rd head ??)
$n looks at $mself suspiciously.  (Must have noticed the 3rd head.)

smack 0 0
Whom did you want to smack ?
#
You smack $M. (Bad $N!)
$n gives $N a loud smack!
$n gives you a loud smack! (Behave!)
Smack who ?
You give yourself a smack on the hand..(You must behave now!)
$n gives $mself a smack before you could.

smile 1 0
You smile happily.
$n smiles happily.
You smile at $M.
$n beams a smile at $N.
$n smiles at you.
There's no one by that name around.
You smile to yourself.
$n smiles to $mself.

smirk 0 0
You smirk.
$n smirks.
#

smoke 0 0
You light up your cancer stick of choice and puff contently.
$n lights up $s cigarette inhales deeply.
#

snap 0 0
You snap your fingers. Curses! Foiled again!
$n snaps $s fingers.
#

snarl 0 0
You snarl like a viscious animal.
$n snarls like a cornered, viscious animal.
You snarl at $M angrily.  Control yourself!
$n snarls angrily at $N.  $e seems incapable of controlling $mself.
$n snarls viciously at you.  $s self-control seems to have gone bananas.
Eh?  Who?  Not here, my friend.
You snarl at yourself, obviously suffering from schizophrenia.
$n snarls at $mself, and suddenly looks very frightened.

sneeze 0 0
Gesundheit!
$n sneezes.
#

snicker 0 0
You snicker softly.
$n snickers softly.
#

sniff 0 0
You sniff sadly.  *SNIFF*
$n sniffs sadly.
#

snore 0 0
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
$n snores loudly.
#

snort 0 0
You snort disgustedly.
$n snorts disgustedly.
#

snowball 0 0
Who do you want to throw a snowball at??
#
You throw a snowball in $N's face.
$n conjures a snowball from thin air and throws it at $N.
$n conjures a snowball from thin air and throws it at you.
You stand with the snowball in your hand because your victim is not here.
You conjure a snowball from thin air and throw it at yourself.
$n conjures a snowball out of the thin air and throws it at $mself.

snuggle 1 5
Who?
#
You snuggle up to $M.
$n snuggles up to $N.
$n snuggles up to you.
They aren't here.
Hmmm...
#

spank 0 8
You spank WHO?  Eh?  How?  Naaah, you'd never.
$n spanks the thin air with a flat hand.
You spank $M vigorously, long and hard.  Your hand hurts.
$n spanks $N over $s knee.  It hurts to even watch.
$n spanks you long and hard.  You feel like a naughty child.
Are you sure about this?  I mean, that person isn't even here!
Hmm, not likely.
#

spit 0 0
You spit over your left shoulder.
$n spits over $s left shoulder.
You spit on $M.
$n spits in $N's face.
$n spits in your face.
Can you spit that far?
You drool down your front.
$n drools down $s front.

squeeze 0 0
Where, what, how, WHO???
#
You squeeze $M fondly.
$n squeezes $N fondly.
$n squeezes you fondly.
Where, what, how, WHO???
You squeeze yourself -- try to relax a little!
$n squeezes $mself.

stare 0 5
You stare at the sky.
$n stares at the sky.
You stare dreamily at $N, completely lost in $S eyes..
$n stares dreamily at $N.
$n stares dreamily at you, completely lost in your eyes.
You stare and stare but can't see that person anywhere...
You stare dreamily at yourself - enough narcissism for now.
$n stares dreamily at $mself - NARCISSIST!

steam 0 0 
You let out some steam, much to the others' relief (and your own!)
$n lets out a lot of steam, much to your relief.
#

stroke 0 0
Whose thigh would you like to stroke?
#
You gently stroke $S inner thigh.
$n gently strokes $N's inner thigh... hmm...
$n gently strokes your inner thigh with feathery touches.
That person is not within reach.
You are about to do something you would rather not be caught doing.
$n starts to do something disgusting and then stops.

strut 0 0
Strut your stuff.
$n struts proudly.
#

sulk 1 0
You sulk.
$n sulks in the corner.
#

swat 0 0
You swat at the large fly buzzing around the room!
$n starts swatting flies..
You swat $M in the rear!
$n swats $N on the rear!
$n swats you on the rear!
Sorry, that person's not here.
You swat yourself on the rear.
$n swats $mself on the rear, trying to dust off $s clothes.

swkiss 0 5
And just how are you supposed to do that?
#
You twine your arms around $N's neck and give $M a sweet, sultry kiss.
$n twines $s arms around $N's neck and gives $M a sweet, sultry kiss.
$n twines $s arms around your neck and gives you a sweet, sultry kiss.
You can't seem to find that person here.
You twine your arms around your neck and give yourself sultry kisses.
$n twines $s arms around $s neck and gives $mself sultry kisses.

swoon 0 0
A feeling of lightheadness overcomes you and you swoon gracefully to the floor.
$n raises $s hand to $s forehead before falling to the floor in a graceful swoon.
#

tackle 0 5
You tackle the air.  It stands not a chance.
$n starts running around $mself in a desparate attempt to tackle the air.
You ruthlessly tackle $M to the ground.
$n ruthlessly tackles $N, pinning $M to the ground.
$n suddenly lunges at you and tackles you to the ground!
That person isn't here (luck for them, it would seem...)
Tackle yourself?  Yeah, right....
$n makes a dextrous move and kicks $s left leg away with $s right.

tag 0 5
You gonna tag SOMEONE??
#
You tag $N, $E's IT!
$n tags $N.  Run, $E's IT!
You are tagged by $n, you're IT!
Sorry, they're long gone.
That won't help you..
#

tango 0 8
With whom would you like to tango?
$n puts a rose between $s teeth, but takes it out since noone joins $m.
You put a rose between your teeth and tango with $M seductively.
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tangos with $N seductively.
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tangos with you seductively.
That person isn't around.  Better sit this one out.
Feels rather stupid, doesn't it?
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tries to tango with $mself.

taunt 0 0
You taunt the nothing in front of you. 
$n taunts something that seems to be right in front of $m.
You taunt $M, to your own delight.
$n taunts $N rather insultingly.  $n seems to enjoy it tremendously.
$n taunts you.  It really hurts your feelings.
Hmmmmmmm.....nope, no one by that name here.
You taunt yourself, almost making you cry...:(
$n taunts $mself to tears.

thank 0 5
Thank you too.
$n thanks the invisble person in front of them.
You thank $N heartily.
$n thanks $N heartily.
$n thanks you heartily.
No one answers to that name here.
You thank yourself since nobody else wants to!
$n thanks $mself heartily.

think 1 0
You think about life, the universe and everything.
$n sinks deeply into thought about the meaning of life.
You think about what purpose $E has in relation to your part of life.
$n stops and thinks about $N, completely lost in thought.
Your ears burn as $n thinks about you.. you wonder what about.
You'd better think harder, if you hope to make contact!
You think about yourself (for once).
$n thinks about $mself for a change.....(?)

thwack 0 0
Whom did you want to thwack ?
#
You thwack $M on the back of the head!
$n thwacks $N on the back of the head! (Ouch!)
$n thwacks you on the back of the head! (Ouch!)
Thwack who ? That person's not here.
You thwack yourself on the back of your head.
$n thwacks $mself on the back of $s head. (Must be trying to jumpstart $s brain.)

thwap 0 0
Whom did you want to thwap ?
#
You thwap $M on the forehead! (DOH!)
$n thwaps $N on the forehead!
$n thwaps you on the forehead! (DOH!)
DOH! That person's not even here..
You thwap yourself on the forehead! (DOH!)
$n thwaps $mself on the forehead! (Doh! Must have left $s brain at home again!)

tickle 0 0
Who do you want to tickle??
#
You tickle $N.
$n tickles $N.
$n tickles you - hee hee hee.
Who is that??
You tickle yourself, how funny!
$n tickles $mself.

timeout 0 0
Tweeeet..  Ok. Timeout!
$n whistles and calls a timeout.
#

tongue 0 0
You stick your tongue out mockingly.
$n sticks $s tongue out at you mockingly.
You stick your tongue into $N's bellybutton.
$n sticks $s tongue into $N's bellybutton.
$n sticks $s tongue into your bellybutton.  That tickles.
Too bad, they left.
You stick your tongue into your bellybutton to lick out that bellylint.
$n sticks $s tongue into $s bellybutton to get that bellylint out.

touch 0 5
Touch someone! (ewwww!)
#
You touch $N with affection.
$n touches $N with affection.
$n touches you with affection.
You can't touch someone who's not there.
Touch yourself??
#

trace 0 5
You trace out shapes in the air.
$n traces out shapes in the air.
You trace your finger along $N's body from $S neck down.
$n traces $s finger along $N's body from $S neck down.
$n traces $s finger along your body from your neck down.
You can't trace on them.
You trace your finger along your body.
$n traces $s finger along $s body.

tug 0 0
Tug on whom ?
#
You tug on $N's sleeve.
$n tugs on $N's sleeve.
$n tugs on your sleeve.
Tug on whom ?
What for ?
#

twiddle 0 0
You patiently twiddle your thumbs.
$n patiently twiddles $s thumbs.
#

waltz 0 0
You waltz around the room, with the person of your dreams...
$n waltzes around the room, with a dreamy expression on $s face.
You waltz around the room with $M.
$n waltzes around the room with $N.
$n waltzes you around the room.
Better sit down, that person's not here.
You waltz around the room, holding yourself closely.
$n waltzes around the room by $mself, unsure of whose leading.

warcry 0 0
YOU WILL BE THE NEXT TO FALL BEFORE ME!  BONZAI!!!
You feel enthralled, as $n lets out a vicious warcry.
#

wave 0 0
You wave.
$n waves happily.
You wave goodbye to $N.
$n waves goodbye to $N.
$n waves goodbye to you.  Have a good journey.
They didn't wait for you to wave goodbye.
Are you going on adventures as well??
$n waves goodbye to $mself.

wedgie 0 0
Who do you want to give a wedgie?
#
You stand behind $N, grab $S underwear, and yank them up, until you can touch the back of $S head.
$n gives $N a wedgie.  Ooo... that had to hurt.
$n gives you the wedgie of your life.  For some reason, you have a faint taste of cloth in the back of your mouth.
Um, you can't wedgie someone who isn't here.  Talk about MEAN!
You try to wedgie yourself, but it doesn't really work.
$n tries to give $mself a wedgie but fails.  Hmm..  maybe you should help.

whine 0 0
You whine pitifully.
$n whines pitifully about the whole situation.
#

whistle 0 0
You whistle appreciatively.
$n whistles appreciatively.
#

wiggle 0 0
You wiggle your bottom.
$n wiggles $s bottom.
#

wink 0 5
Have you got something in your eye?
$n winks suggestively.
You wink suggestively at $N.
$n winks at $N.
$n winks suggestively at you.
No one with that name is present.
You wink at yourself?? -- what are you up to?
$n winks at $mself -- something strange is going on...

wipe 0 0
You wipe your brow in relief.  *PHEW*
$n wipes the sweat from $s brow.  What a relief!
You wipe the mouth of $N clean.
$n pulls out a napkin and wipes off the mouth of $N.
$n pulls out a napkin and wipes your mouth clean.
Sorry, you can't do long-distance wipes.
You wipe off your mouth. Yech!
$n wipes off $s mouth.

worship 0 5
You find yourself head-down in the dirt, worshipping.
$n starts worshipping nothing at all.
You fall to your knees and worship $M deeply.
$n falls to $s knees, worshipping $N with uncanny dedication.
$n kneels before you in solemn worship.
Uh.. who?  They're not here, pal.
You seem sure to have found a true deity.....
$n falls to $s knees and humbly worships $mself.

yabba 0 0
YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOOO!!!!
$n exclaims YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOO!!
#

yawn 0 0
Gosh, will you trade those teeth for mine?? -- you get my glasseyes in the bargain too!
$n yawns.
#

yeehaw 0 0
YEEEEE-HAAWW!!
$n lets out a hardy YEEEEE-HAAAWW!!
#

yodel 0 0
You start yodelling loudly and rather beautifully in your own ears.
$n starts a yodelling session that goes right to the bone.
#

hbreath 0 0
You say, 'I'm gonna hold my breath until I get what I want!!!'
$n holds $s breath until $e turns blue.
#

stress 0 5
Argh!!!!!! You've had enough! 
$n stomps around the room pulling at $s hair in total frustration.
You look at $N disbeleivingly.. This CANT be happening!
$n grips $N's shoulders shaking $M, as $e totally stresses out!
$n shakes you hard, $s veins nearly popping out of $s forehead.
What? They didn't do anything! They're not even here!
Oh duh! What a STUPID thing to do!
$n slaps $mself -- ... Boy did $e mess up!

frolic 0 8
You flitter and frolic about.
$n frolics in a field of daisies.
You frolic with $N in a field of daisies.
$n frolics with $N in a field of daisies.
$n frolics with you in a field of daisies.
Try frolicking next time when they are here!
You flitter and frolic about.
$n frolics in a field of daisies.

boggle 0 5
You boggle at the concept.
$n boggles at the concept.
You boggle at what $E just said.
$n boggles at what $N just said.
$n is boggled by what you just said.
How can someone so far away be boggling you at the moment?
You boggle yourself... how strange.
$n is boggled by $mself.

howdy 0 5
You tip your hat and say, 'Howdy'!
$n greets ya'll with a big Texas 'Howdy'!
You tip your hat and say, 'Howdy' to $M.
$n greets $N with a big Texas 'Howdy'!
$n greets you with a big Texas 'Howdy'!
I'm sorry pardner...they aren't here.
You say Howdy to yourself!
$n says, 'Howdy' to everyone, even to $s alter-ego.

wetwil 0 8
Who do you want to give this wet willy to?
$n has a maniacal gleam in $m eyes, and a finger in $m mouth.
You put your finger in your mouth and then in $N's ear.
$n gives $N a wet willy, $E seems to enjoy it!
$n just gave YOU a wet willy...eewwww wet ears!
Looks like you'll need to find that person first.
I suppose you like tongue's in there too, eh?
$n just gave $mself a wet willy..what a strange child!

bahead 0 5
hjgjladjsljdfljawertljabberrulesjladfjljrouaLWEJlasdjflue4owjn
$n bangs $s head on the keyboard...OUCH that has to hurt!
#

yelp 0 5
YELP!
$n yelps!
#

twirl 0 8
twirling about...round and round.
$n twirls about the room..round and round.
You pick $N up and twirl $M around.
$n pick up $N and twirls $M around.
$n twirls you round and round.
You try in vain to twirl them.
You twirl yourself around..the room spins.
$n looks like $e is getting dizzy, twirling around and around.

babble 0 5
Your jaw is unhinged..flap flap flap.
$n is babbling aimlessly...AGAIN.
#

stagger 0 8
You stagger into the room.
$n staggers into the room..drunk again.
You stagger into the room and fall on $N.
$n staggers into the room and falls on $N.
$n staggers into the room and falls on top of you.
You stagger into the room and fall over your imaginary friends.
As you stagger into the room, you grow more left feet and trip over them.
$n staggers into the room and trips over $s own feet.

typo 0 5
Time to find a new typist.
$n curses $s current typist.
#

moon 0 8
You bend over and show them what a full moon really looks like.
$n bends over and shows you what a full moon really looks like.
You show $M a full moon.
$n bends over and shows $N the meaning of 'full moon'.
$n moons you.
That is one big moon..too bad they weren't here to see it.
Do you have eyes in the back of your head?
$n bends over backwards trying to moon $mself.

zip 0 5
You zip your lips.
$n zips $s lips.
You zip $N's lips.
$n zips $N's lips.
$n just zipped your lips...so SHUDDUP!
Looks like a broken zipper to me.
You zip your lips.
$n zips $s lips.

gpeace 0 8
You try and imitate your favorite god by yelling 'PEACE'.
$n imitates $s favorite god and yells out 'PEACE'.
#

belch 0 8
You let out such a belch it scores a 7.9 ...on the Richter Scale.
$n lets out such a belch that it scores a 7.9 ... on the Richter Scale.
#

cartwheel 0 8
You turn cartwheels all around the room.
$n turns cartwheels all around the room.
#

skip 0 8
Skip to my lou!
$n skips to the imaginary music in $s head.
You grab $M by the elbow and begin to skip around the room.
$n takes $N by the elbow and they skip around the room.
$n takes you by the elbow and forces you to skip...how silly!
Once again depending on those imaginary friends for fun, eh?
Skip to my lou!
$n skips to the imaginary music in $s head.

bonk 0 8
Bonk someone!
#
You bonk $N on the head.
$n bonks $N on the head.
$n takes out $s rubber mallet and bonks you on the head.
You swing that rubber mallet aimlessly.
You bonk yourself on the head, how silly!
$n bonks $mself on the head.

slip 0 8
Someone drops a banana peel, you slip and fall flat on your face!
What a klutz!! $n just slipped and fell flat on $s face!
#

bkiss 0 5
You sent out kisses in the wind.
$n blows kisses to everyone in the room.
You blow kisses to $M.
What a romantic, $n blows kisses to $N.
$n blows you kisses...how sweet!
Awwwww, they are not here.
Blowing kisses to yourself... a tough problem in physics.
#

aww 0 5
Awwwwwww.
$n says Awwwwwww.
#

meow 0 5
Meow!
$n meows.
You meow at $M.
$n meows at $N.
$n gives you $s best sexy look, and says 'Meow!'.
BARK!
You morph into a cat.
$n is playing charades... $e is a cat! Meow!

blink 0 5
You blink in confusion.
$n blinks in confusion.
#

blook 0 5
WTF????
$n gives you $s best blank look.
What are they trying to say??
$n gives $N a blank look.
$n gives you $s best blank look.
You are really confused aren't you?
You even confuse yourself.
$n is confused by $mself.

shame 0 5
You hang your head in shame.
$n hangs $s head in shame.
#

pcake 0 5
Patty-Cake Patty-Cake bakers man...
Patty-Cake Patty-Cake bakers man...
You play patty-cake with $N.
$n and $N amuse themselves with a quick game of patty-cake.
$n forces you to play that SILLY patty-cake game.
Patty-Cake Patty-Cake with the air????
You hit yourself..OUCH!
#

doughboy 0 8
You grab your tummy and giggle like the Pillsbury Dough-boy! 
$n grabs $s tummy and giggles like the Pillsbury Dough-boy!
#

icky 0 5
You screw up your face and make an icky expression!
$n screws up $s face and makes an icky expression!
#

dlook 0 0
You look around in disbelief!
$n looks around disbelievingly!
You look at $N in disbelief!
$n looks at $N in disbelief!
$n looks at you in disbelief! (Guess $e didn't buy it, huh ?)
That person's not even here, silly.
You look at yourself in disbelief!
$n looks at $mself in disbelief! 

pie 0 0
You toss a pie in the air as you decide where to aim it...
$n tosses a pie in the air as $e contemplates where to throw it.
You toss a pie in $N's face!
$n tosses a pie in $N's face! (Uh oh, better duck just in case!)
$n tosses a pie in your face! (Hmmm..bananna creme ?)
That person must have hide already.
You're not getting paid for that!
#

duck 0 0
You duck and attempt to take cover!
$n ducks and attempts to take cover!
#

violin 0 0
You break out the violin and start playing.
$n breaks out the violin and starts playing.
You break out the violin and start playing for $N.
$n breaks out the violin and plays for $N.
$n breaks out the violin and starts playing it for you.
For whom ?
You break out the violin and start playing for yourself.
$n breaks out the violin and starts playing for $mself.

leer 0 0
People normally leer at *someone*!
#
You leer at $N appreciatively!
$n leers at $N in appreciation!
$n leers at you! (Hmm..should you hit $m or thank $m ?)
Leer at who ?
You leer at yourself! (Pervert!)
$n obviously finds $mself very attractive!

bat 0 0
You bat your eyelashes!
$n bats $s eyelashes!
#

$

